As I put the finishing touches on this series, I want to first make clear that the point of my writing is not to undermine the “achieve balance in life to succeed in the Pokémon TCG” narrative. That can be a path to praiseworthy performance in this game. Rather, it is to shine a light on another path that players may take to reach victorious heights in the Pokémon TCG. I would say that this overcompensation pathway often goes under reported by the players that are on it. We have a tendency to selectively share the good news about our lives, and blot out the rest. Players like myself, moreover, might not even realize that they overcompensated in the Pokémon TCG until much later in life.
In re-reading what I wrote in Part 1 and Part 2, a couple of things stick out to me as needing further elaboration. You might ask why the same determination to succeed in the Pokémon TCG didn’t manifest within my new academic life at the college level. It is a good question, and the answer is a sad one that can have lifelong implications for those in the queer community. As I mentioned in Part 2, due to bullying, I kept a distance between me and my high school. This distance had the unfortunate consequence of diminishing my interest in academic achievement, and it carried over into my first year of college. Too many queer people are never able to warm up to their academic institutions and the people affiliated with them. Given the connections between academic attainment and health / other social outcomes, this can lead to some devastating inequities for the queer community.
Fortunately, I reprioritized in the summer of 2008. I went into my fall semester determined to reinstate some of the scholarships I had lost. My focus shifted from the Pokémon TCG to academics and I ended the semester on the Dean’s List. As I concentrated on my academics at Saint Louis University over the following years, I also built meaningful relationships with a few classmates and professors that I still hold dear. In retrospect, I think I also unconsciously shifted my priority for an intimate partnership to that of authentic friendships.
While I never again performed quite to the level that I did in 2007-2008, I still found success in the Pokémon TCG in the years that followed. This is also the period of time in which I really solidified my relationships within the Pokémon TCG community…and I definitely still hold those dear. I would say that I had achieved significantly more balance in my life starting at the end of 2008, and that led to a more moderate level of success in the Pokémon TCG.
A moderated level of success could be what the proponents of the “achieve balance in life to to succeed in the Pokémon TCG” narrative actually mean. I was much happier with life when all my eggs were not in the Pokémon TCG basket. That said, I do look back with fondness on my accomplishments in the 2007-2008 tournament season. It lifts me up to see retro content on these innovative decks - most recently Jay Hornung’s video on Torterra. But then, I also look back with disappointment on other parts of my biography from this period of time. There is a kindness in our tendency to remember the good over the bad, and the joyful memories from those years are the ones that come to mind most often
As I mentioned in Part 1, I can’t will myself to be competitive anymore…not even casually competitive. Perhaps I am too immersed in my work and relationships? One of my professors often said “focus demands sacrifice,” and I may be unconsciously sacrificing my ability to compete in the Pokémon TCG by focusing my energies elsewhere. I think the “focus demands sacrifice” mantra offers another way to think about the overcompensation narrative.
In closing, I would ask the reader to consider my story from 2007-2008 as a cautionary tale. There seems to be a strong propensity within the Pokémon TCG community to idolize the players that have had enviable tournament performances. As you look to follow in the footsteps of those players, you should consider the social forces that might be propelling them to succeed in the Pokémon TCG. It could be a balanced life, but it could also be an unenviable life that is driving the person to overcompensate as a player. You may not like the path those footsteps are really on.
Colin
“Never underestimate the power of a tale. What you put aside as fantasy in one land can kill you in the next.” - Patricia McKillip, In the Forests of Serre
